Even an amicable divorce can be a stressful and emotionally draining experience. You’re closing the chapter on an important part of your life. When couples are divorcing and children are involved, even an amicable dissolution of the marriage can hit a few bumps.
Knowing how to navigate divorce when children are involved can make the process go more smoothly, which can be especially important for your children’s overall well-being. You don’t want to place any more stress on your children than they are already experiencing.
Legal vs. Physical Custody
In the State of Connecticut, family courts currently recognize two types of child custody: legal and physical.
Legal custody gives the parent the right to make all decisions regarding the child’s welfare. The parent with legal custody is responsible for deciding where the minor child attends school and makes all medical care decisions.
Physical custody refers to the child’s primary residence. Both parents can share physical custody or only one. Most family court judges prefer awarding parents joint physical custody, which allows both parents to remain a constant presence in the child’s life. How joint custody works can vary, but generally, the child spends an equal amount of time with both parents.
For example, a child may spend the week with one parent to attend school and every weekend with the other adult. When parents share joint physical custody, this typically extends to legal custody. This way, both parents have an equal say in most aspects of their shared child’s life.
When Joint Custody May Not Be Awarded
Joint custody isn’t always awarded to parents during a divorce. Family courts will review multiple factors before making a decision. Some circumstances can convince a judge to award one parent sole legal and physical custody.
However, the court usually ensures the other parent still has visitation rights. This can include ordering the child to spend some holidays with the other parent, extended time in the summer, and/or one or more weekends a month.
So, how does the court decide if joint custody is the right decision? Connecticut family law requires family court judges to consider the child’s best interests, and this means looking a multiple factors that typically include:
- The child’s preferences. This usually includes interviewing the child to learn which parent they prefer living with.
- The parent’s ability to provide a safe and stable home environment
- Which parent can be actively involved in the child’s life
- Whether the child’s current living arrangements are stable
- How long the child has resided at their current address
- If the child is happily adjusted to their school and present living arrangements
- If the child has special needs, which parent is best suited to meet these specific needs
The court will also consider if one parent has or is interfering with the relationship they have with the child. This can be anything from preventing one parent from seeing the child to lying about their activities or lifestyle.
If one parent has a history of violence or other types of abuse, the court will weigh this carefully before deciding custody.
Steps for Filing a Divorce in Connecticut When Children Are Involved
The steps for filing for divorce in Connecticut are the same regardless of if children are involved. There are a couple of additional steps but otherwise, you follow a relatively simple process.
Fill Out the Paperwork
Sometimes, this is the most time-consuming step. There’s a ton of information to supply and all is a legal requirement for obtaining a divorce with or without children in Connecticut.
You start by providing some basic information about you and your spouse. Nothing too complicated, just your names, birth dates, wedding date, and where the ceremony took place.
To obtain a divorce in Connecticut you must have ties to the state, meaning that you and your spouse must have resided in Connecticut for at least part of your marriage. Also, be ready to provide proof of residency.
The form also asks you to supply the reason for the divorce. A complete list of valid reasons for obtaining a divorce is listed in the state’s general statutes for dissolution of marriage. Yes, you can list an irretrievable breakdown as a reason, as this is just another way of saying you and your spouse agree the marriage is broken and can’t be repaired.
The form also includes a section for any minor children who will be affected by the divorce. You’re not requesting sole or joint custody at this point, only the names, ages, and residency of each child. However, if you or your spouse has already been awarded temporary sole custody or are receiving child support, this does need to be included in this section.
File a Summons
You must file a summons with your divorce paperwork, there aren’t any exceptions. The summons is a legal document notifying your spouse that you’re filing for divorce. The summons also lists the court date your divorce case is heard by a judge.
Your spouse has every legal right to appear in court, especially if you’re filing for sole custody. Your spouse can state their case before the court if they’re contesting your decision to ask for sole custody.
The Final Steps in a Divorce
You’ve filed the appropriate paperwork and paid all associated court fees—yes, there are court costs associated with filing for a divorce—but don’t worry, the fees are usually minimal.
If you and your spouse are contesting the proposed terms of the divorce, the judge will probably send you both to mediation. This is when you and your spouse sit down with a neutral third party and try to reach an agreement.
If an agreement can’t be reached, your divorce case heads to trial where it’s decided by a family court judge. If you’re wondering how long a divorce typically takes, the timeline usually averages around four months—however, if your case goes to trial the process can take longer.
Successfully Navigating a Divorce with Children Involved
Navigating a divorce when children are involved can be incredibly challenging, regardless of how old they are. Your primary goal in this situation is to do what’s best for your children.
Working with an experienced family law attorney can help make the process smoother, reducing the stress that often accompanies a divorce. An attorney can guide you through the complexities, ensuring that your children’s well-being remains the top priority.
