Coerced or Voluntary Intimate Disclosure is an acronym that should not leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. The medical community refers to it as a “green flag” warning about red flags in dating relationships. It’s a code word for someone who may be trying to take advantage of you, or vice versa. C.O.V.I.D stands for Coercive Or Voluntary Intimate Disclosure, which refers to how willing you are to reveal intimate details about your past during the early stages of dating someone new. It’s also known as the Green Flag Red Flag test, which is meant to warn you about potential dating partners by evaluating how much they know about you and vice versa — before becoming physical with them.
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What Is Coerced Or Voluntary Intimate Disclosure?
- Coerced or voluntary intimate disclosure refers to the amount of information you share about your past relationships and sex life with someone you’re romantically involved with early in a relationship.
- The goal of the green flag/red flag test is to determine how much each person knows about the other’s past and current sexual health before engaging in any type of physical contact. To do this, one person asks a series of questions about the other’s sexual history and their past relationships, and the other person answers them truthfully and honestly.
- If the person being interviewed is confused about whether or not the questions are voluntary or coerced, he or she should end the discussion and ask their partner to stop and perhaps even end the relationship.
- Couples can use this green flag/red flag test to see how much they know about each other before they become sexually involved. This can help couples avoid getting into relationships with people who could hurt them, either emotionally or physically.
Why Is C.O.V.I.D So Important?
- C.O.V.I.D is important because it helps you determine whether you are getting into a potentially dangerous relationship with someone who may put your health and well-being in jeopardy, whether it’s physical or emotional.
- If you find out your partner has a history of cheating, is currently in a relationship with someone else, or has had multiple partners in the past, this could indicate that they are not willing to be faithful to you, which can lead to an increased risk for sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.
- If your partner has been in several relationships that ended due to physical or emotional abuse, this could be an indication that he or she is abusive and may harm you if the relationship continues.
- The CFVID acronym is important because some people are very manipulative, coercive, and even abusive in the way they approach dating. They may not even be aware of it! They may think they’re just having a casual conversation or that they’re simply being curious and open-minded. But they may be putting you on the defensive with every question they ask, forcing you to answer when you’d rather not.
- They may put you in a position where you feel you don’t have a choice but to discuss topics you might rather not. They may even ask questions that are highly personal, inappropriate, and even invasive — without realizing the significance of what they’re doing. The goal of the green flag/red flag test is to determine how much each person knows about the other’s past and current sexual health before engaging in any type of physical contact.
When Is C.O.V.I.D A Problem?
- Your partner is coercive: If your partner is coercing you into having sex with him or her, you are at risk of getting pregnant and/or getting an STI. If your partner is coercing you, it’s not a good sign for the future of your relationship — and if it’s occurring now, it probably happened in previous relationships as well.
- Your partner is verbally abusive: If your partner yells at you, calls you names, or tells you that he or she doesn’t want to be with you anymore – but continues to pressure you into having sex with him or her – this could be a form of emotional abuse.
- Your partner has had multiple partners: If your partner has had more than two sexual partners in the last year (or more than five sexual partners in the last two years), he or she may have an STI that could put both of your lives at risk.
- Your partner has an STI: Even if he or she doesn’t know about it – and even if he or she doesn’t have any symptoms – your partner may have an STI that could put both of your lives at risk. Your partner has never had an STI test: If your partner has never had a sexual health test, he or she may not know if he or she is carrying an STI.
- It is important to encourage your partner to get tested for STIs and to let him or her know that you will wait until he or she gets the test results back before you have sex with him or her. If your partner refuses, this could be a sign that there is something wrong with his or her health.
- If your partner is not taking “no” for an answer when it comes to questions about your past, or if they’re asking you questions without “inviting you in” to open up to them, this is a huge red flag, indicating a potential for abuse. Other signs of potential abuse include:
- Your partner puts you on the defensive by asking questions that make you feel uncomfortable or guilty for having a past.
- Your partner is constantly shaming you for having sexual desires or fantasies that are different from their own.
- Your partner regularly asks you to prove that you’re “normal” or “good enough.”
How Does Someone Committing Coerced Or Voluntary Intimate Disclosure Harm You?
- Being forced or coerced into divulging too much, too soon can have long-lasting and even damaging effects on your emotional and/or physical health.
- It can make you feel like you’re not allowed to have any secrets or privacy, even if it goes against your best interests and desires.
- It can make you feel like you’re not allowed to make mistakes.
- It can make you feel like you don’t deserve to have a private life, or that any mistakes you’ve made in your past are unacceptable and/or unforgivable.
- It can make you feel like you’re not allowed to have a healthy sex life that’s different from your partner’s.
- It can make you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved and/or that you’re not lovable. – It can make you feel like you don’t have the right to refuse questions you don’t want to answer.
- It can make you feel like you have to tell your partner everything as soon as they ask, even if you’re not ready to do so.
- It can make you feel like you have to accept abuse and/or not recognize it when it comes your way.
Tips To Avoid Being A Victim Of C.O.V.I.D
- Never, ever be afraid to say “no” — even if your partner is pressuring you and/or getting angry with you.
- Even if it seems like a good idea at the time, don’t let your partner guilt you into answering questions about your past that make you uncomfortable.
- Even if it seems like a good idea at the time, don’t let your partner guilt you into having sex before you feel ready to do so.
- If your partner asks a lot of questions about your past without “inviting you in” to open up to them, this is a huge red flag indicating the potential for abuse.
- If your partner regularly makes jokes or comments that make fun of people who have had sexual partners in the past, they may be shaming others in order to shame or pressure you into opening-up
- Be clear with your partner that you don’t know them well enough to discuss certain topics.
- Be clear with your partner that you have given ample time to open up on your own terms, and that they should respect that.
- Be clear with your partner that you appreciate their interest in you, but that you deserve a partner who respects your privacy.
- Be clear with your partner that you’re not open to answering invasive questions about your physical health, especially if you’re not sexually active with them. If you’ve tried to be clear, but your partner continues to push, end the conversation immediately and break off the relationship.
Conclusion
The CFVID acronym is important because some people are very manipulative, coercive, and even abusive in the way they approach dating. They may not even be aware of it! Being able to recognize the signs of C.O.V.I.D can help you protect yourself from being taken advantage of and/or being involved with someone who might not have your best interests at heart.
